The concept of arranged marriages is not a very unusual norm in
India. It is how most of the Indians get married. No matter how westernized
India may have become arranged marriages are still preferred in most of the
Indian families. The concept of arrange marriage may sound impractical to the
Western world but for Indians it is something they prefer. It is a system, which
originated when child marriage was a custom in the country. The purpose of child
marriage was to restrict the children from marrying outside their community and
social status. The practice mainly began as a way of uniting and maintaining the
rich and the upper caste families. Caste system gave birth to arrange marriage.
The system mainly developed to promote caste system or racism. The system of
arrange marriage has its pros and cons. On one side it is seen as a medium to
promote racism and class system. On the other hand it gives parents control over
family matters and members.
This system of arrange marriage, which
originated mainly as the tool of the upper caste people to protect their
community and to maintain their social status they wanted their children to
marry someone from the same caste and same social background. Eventually it
spread to the lower caste of the society where it is used for the same purpose.
The rituals and customs of arrange marriages vary depending on the caste and
religion of the people or whether he or she is a Hindu or a Muslim. Marriage is
not just coming together of two individuals but an alliance between two
families. The practices of arrange marriage has almost become synonymous with
the Indian society and culture. Compare to earlier period the practices are not
so rigid at present. But one of the social evil associated with arrange marriage
is dowry in the modern Indian society. In most part of the country arrange
marriage is the best medium to take dowry. Nowadays marriages are more like a
trade than a social custom. People find it an easy medium to make money. This is
one of the biggest drawbacks of arrange marriages.
Among the other
drawbacks is that the boy and the girl doesn't get to know their future spouses
before marriage. In arrange marriages it is not important to know your partner
before marriage. Two unknown people get married without knowing and
understanding each other. Just as every coin has two sides so do arrange
marriages. There are even arrange marriages in which the parents who love their
children and are concerned about their life take the consent of their children
when they decide their marriage. Arrange marriages are successful only when the
parent does not force their children to marry whom they don't want to marry. In
a marriage there should be mutual consent and understanding from both side than
only a marriage can sustain. Good arrange marriages happen when the parents
support and help their children to find their life partners according to their
desires and likings. Arrange marriages have certain ill effects on the society
like it is biased over a particular religion, caste and a race. It is not
healthy when parents are over protective and control their children's wishes and
desires in choosing their partner. It is wonderful when children are given the
right to make the final consent and decision on their marriage and also there
should be arrangements for the would be husband and wife to meet and to
understand each other.
A relationship cannot grow if there is no mutual
consent and understanding from both the parties. Whether it is love or arranged
marriage people look for the perfect life partner. But nobody is perfect on this
earth. Everybody has certain drawbacks. But if we really love somebody we should
accept that person with his or her faults and weakness. If we can accept a
person the way he or she is than only we can leave a happily married life
irrespective of love or arrange because the real success of marriage lies in
love, respect, concern, empathy and loyalty for each other.
